I have a good life. I know this statement is true on the most basic level, however there is never any wiggle room for anything to go wrong. No wrenches can afford to be tossed or all hell breaks loose.
Will I ever know what it's like to live other than paycheck to paycheck? Will I be grownup some day and have an actual savings account? Will I live a life out of debt and be able to afford a setback like car trouble and not lose sleep wondering what my family (or I) can do without in order to be able to drive to and from work, kids to and from school/friends' houses/malls to buy spring clothing I clearly cannot afford? It's exhausting and I feel utterly exhausted by it.
I have the gift of good health.
I have a family who loves me.
There is a roof over my head, and lights that go on and off, and heat when I need it, and food and I manage to squeak out a little money for wine, too. But why isn't it ever enough?
I want to lead a lifestyle for the life I feel I should have.
Not this one that has me doing something to just cover the basics.
I'm just so tired.
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